Being here is an obligation I've just come to live with. My parents raised me in the church, and my wife still expects me to go. Whenever I skip out for a reason other than deathly illness, I don't hear the end of it until the next week when I put on my tie, and sometimes even that doesn't silence it. It's a routine. Like turning on the coffee pot when I first walk in the kitchen. Listening to the sermon, I take detailed notes. I can pretty much set up the outline exactly like Pastor has it written in his notes without ever having seen them. I know the ways he builds to a climax, three sets of threes buried in there, and the way he slides through a long winded denouement. My notes from a Sunday morning look so similar to my neat, dated, ordered, color-coded college notes that you really can't tell the difference.
God, I am so bored with my life. I am so bored with this routine. Nothing satisfies me anymore. Nothing makes me happy.
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